Death is a sad thing...

Midweek.

i woke up this morning with a smile on my face, trying to forget my worries..i told myself that today is a new day, and i don't have to worry about yesterday. whatever happend yesterday is done, like spilled milk that i don't wanna cry over..(",)

He called me up last night, my X. he said he just wanted to hear my voice, chat for a while..after the call, he texted telling me that my cuz invited him for a drink. i was actually surprised, kasi di ako kasama sa gimik..kinda hurt, becoz i felt left out when i should'nt have. Then i remembered about that thing that happend 2 weeks ago. I spent the night at my cuzins place who is living with her bf. the next morning, i was going to my ate's house blessing, so i asked her live in bf (my cuz went to work that morning) if i could borrow his cp (becoz i ran out of load). i wasnt sure if my message was sent so I checked on the 'sent items' of his cp, and there i saw this message " Hon, mamaya ka na pumunta dito sa house. mga 1 o'clock.". i was surprised, i knew right then that the message was not for my cuz, so i asked her bf about it. he just laughed, so i told him not to worry coz di ko pa naman sya issumbong. after a few days, i met with my cuzin again, and i told her about the txt. i was just concerned, na baka niloloko na sya, wala pa sya kaalam alam..then, she asked her bf about it, at alm nyo ba, wala pang 5mins minumura nako ng ka-live in nya sa txt! that asshole! he does'nt have the right to say those foul words to me. i did what i thought was right, i did what i have to do..the sad thing is, ako pa napasama. some people are twisted. i swear, that will be the last time na magiging concern ako sakanya.

i know, these people are crazy, they don't make any sense at all dahil iba ginagawa nila sa sinasabi nila. i hate people like them..i don't think i could ever be friends with her live in partner again. sayang, bait pa mandin ng mama ko saknya, bastos pala sya! sinabihan pako ng, "bakit, malinis ba sya?", which is uncalled for! at least ako, hindi ako ngmamalinis, di katulad nya, na may asawa at pamilya pero nakikipag-live in pa rin sa cuzin ko. at take note, cuzin ko pa bumubuhay sa kanya dahil wala syang trabaho kundi magtaya lang ng karera maghapon, at ang nagbibigay pa ng pangtaya nya e yung pinsan ko. etong pinsan ko naman, isang napakalaking TANGA naman..tanong ko nga sa sarili ko bakit nya pinagttyagaan ng panahon, pagmamahal at pera yung lalaking yun ( dahil yung pinsan ko pa nagggrocery para sa mga anak nung asshole na yun), pero naisip ko siguro dahil dun lang sya nakakaramdam ng kalinga..baliw na nga siguro sya, i feel sorry dahil naging pinsan ko sya..sana hindi na lang..kasi wala pa sya nadudulot na maganda sa buhay ko..alam ko na ngaun, na sa pagkampi ko sakanya, mga tyms na pingtanggol ko sya, lahat yun kaya nyang itapon para lang sa taong sa tingin nya mahal sya..sayang, pinatay nya yung pagmamahal ko sakanya.

well, i wish the best for her..sana lang, pag matanda na sya at wala ng pera, anjan pa rin yung lalaking kinakabaliwan nya at di sya iwan.

Para sa INYO, sana gumanda pa lalo ang buhay nyo..sana, maging honest kayo, at wag ng magkunwari..sana, matutunan nyo umamin ng pagkakamali nyo..sana, matanggap nyo ang pagkukulang nyo para di kayo manira ng ibang tao..sana wag na kayo mainggit..sana, pag wala na kayong maaway, di kayo ang mag-away away..at sana, marealize nyo ang kasalanan nyo saken, bago kayo mamatay!

Para sayo insan, sana makayanan mo lahat ng problema mo..sana, di mo makalimutan yung mga panahon na wala kang matakbuhan, walang masabihan ng problema kundi ako..sana, matuto kang tanggapin kapag niloloko ka at wag ng pagtakpan pa ang kasalanan ng iba..sana matutunan mo maging honest, kasi pakiramdam ko minsan, masyado ka ng nabalot ng kasinungalingan na hindi mo na alam kung ano ang totoo..sana, wag mo nakong siraan..sana, wag kang mamigay para isumbat lang sa bandang huli..sana, maging masaya ka na para hndi ka na naiinggit saken..sana, pakasalan ka ng ka-live in mo..sana, yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo, di ka iwanan pag wala ka ng silbi at wala ka ng pera..at higit sa lahat, sana wag ka na ulit maging mabait saken.

Para sa sarili ko, mula ngaun, im saying goodbye to the good and bad memories that i shared with my cuzin..kasi narealized ko, di na sya yung taong minahal ko, at kasama ko dati sa paglaki..im saying goodbye to you, dude! something died in me, and that something is YOU! salamat na rin dahil natuto ako sau..ive learned not to trust people, especially people like you..i've learned that blood is NOT always thicker than water ( your line)..kakalungkot, uve been corrupted by someone na napaka kitid ng isip, pati ikaw nahawa na..paalam na syo..mula ngaun, patay ka na sa puso ko.

Amen.